re-entry

My life is not full of blogworthy material, therefore I have not been posting, however I hope to soon switch identities with Aggie. I don't think she'll go for it, though.

Found: spa meeting minutes

Hello ladies, gents, coyotes and dwarves -

It's been a whirlwind couple of months, jaunting about living the groupie lifestyle, but enough is enough. I said to my sweetie - sayonara. Plus, I'd put on a few pounds from all the take-out I had to order to avoid the macrobiotic shit they lay in backstage. So I'm back (after a little stopover at the *best* fat farm, darlings - you can smoke and drink as much as you like, you're just not allowed to eat). I'll be out on the mezzanine having a smoke, but in the meantime, here are the minutes from the emergency meeting back in August. Thanks for coming the rescue, ladeez! The advice was good!

Spa meeting minutes

Present on time: Pandora, Woodsy
Late: Aggie
Absent with sincere regrets: Harmony, Conch Shell
Unexpectedly present: the Elf Queen

Preparatory interval: disrobing, donning of spa wraps, selection of magic potions etc.
Round one topics: Blue Skies, astral projection, Pandora's crush on Petunia, Petunia's sexuality (speculative), Pandora's sexuality (speculative)
Interlude: gifts were exchanged, accompanied by suitable oohs and aahs
Round two topics: partner yoga, furniture design, calloused hands (sexy), adventure dating, [redacted]'s sexuality (speculative)
Interlude: flip over, rearrange robing
Round three topics: home renovations, contractors, story about Serge, who cleaned the Elf Queen's gutters (highly recommended), the nature of power (we determined that softness and strength must go hand-in-hand).
Interlude: arrival of food
Round four: lost track of conversation
Meeting adjourned, re-robing, etc.

Resolution: at future meetings, Aggie and Pandora must turn off or mute cell phones. Woodsy felt distraught - although she did get *one* call.
Resolution: there is no need for a statement on non-dating *at this time*

Pandora hearts Petunia

...but he's taken... sigh.

Check him out: http://www.petuniamusic.com/

Emergency Meeting

Ladies of the ESI, I need your advice and succour.

Time/Date: TBD
Location: Top secret (you'll love it!)
Invited: Ladies ONLY
Confidentiality: Essential

Drinks will be served. Liberally.

Doing what feels right and knowing what you want

I got some comments on a previous posting that I want to follow up on. Woodsy talked about doing what feels right rather than trying to be 'a good girl'. Harmony said that it's about living with integrity, which requires figuring out what you want.

Reflecting on these comments, I have this to say:

One's idea of what's 'right' can conflict with what feels 'right' in a given situation - so in a situation like that, that inner conflict has to be mediated or resolved (or retroactively rationalized once one has taken a course of action and has to live with it). e.g. "I ate the chocolate cheesecake because I really needed that extra boost of energy to get through the final ANTM episode."

I know what I want. Or I should say whats I want, because there are many whats that I want.

But what I was trying to get at in my previous post about shoulds and being good is that - ideas about what 'being good' is - or maybe I should say what's 'right' - are shaped by your life experiences, and if you are a girl or a woman (or even a boy or a man, for chrissake), your ideas of being good may include people-pleasing, which conflicts with self-pleasing a good deal of the time.

The thing about people-pleasing is that - it's impossible. Can't be done. And even if it could, it would be an empty accomplishment, since the bottom line is that having other people say or think 'oh that's so nice/good/right' lasts about one minute.

How about self-pleasing - any downsides to that?

And despite my acknowledgment above that men can also experience the pressure to be a people-pleaser (let's call it what it is, the inner child trying to mollify the internalized parent!), I do think that our ideas about goodness and right courses of action are gendered. I think that women are more likely to be hung up on being friendly, greasing the conversation etc and men are more likely to be hung up on demonstrating accomplishment. i.e. 'good women are socially adept'/'good men are socially powerful'.

What do you think?

Country People: Drunken Lads

Last night I met some drunken lads. One of them may have been tangentially related to me. The others were: two heterosexual fellows, both named Matt, who live in the same house and like to party in their driveway (I'm invited to go to their driveway parties anytime); a lip-pierced, bushy-bearded guy in a counter-cultury black T-shirt, named Dave, who scooted away with two peripheral lads carrying a bass and an amp; a red-headed guy named Chip. Topics of conversation were: what weird kinds of meat they've eaten, and how good it was (ostrich, emu, alligator); drug trips, specifically mushrooms; poo. The ostrich and emu were in the form of burgers. The alligator was in 'bits' and deep fried. The alligator tastes like a combination of chicken and fish, apparently. "Love it!", said Matt.

Mixed Tape Meme

I've been tagged by Woodsy. (thanks, darling)

Instructions: List seven songs you are into right now. It doesn’t matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring/summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.

Seven Songs

Hank Williams - I Can't Help It (if I'm still in love with you)
Unknown Artist - Ambient Mix [sorry, don't know the details, it was a gift]
Squirrel Nut Zippers - Blue Angel
Elizabeth Riley's Travelling Band - their version of - Wagon Wheel
Ridley Bent - David Harley's Son
Neko Case - Thanks a Lot
Leonard Cohen - You Have Loved Enough

Tag:

Coyote
David Scrimshaw
NurseMyra
Zoom
Harmony: as a guest post in my studio, or in her blog...
Astronaut Love Triangle
Wandering Coyote